


In My Looking Glass

by some_mighty_fine_print



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, Marilyn Manson (Band)
Genre: F/M, I love you so much I'll die to be with you again, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mentions of Murder, Running To The Edge Of The World, Through the Looking Glass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 08:28:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4739627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/some_mighty_fine_print/pseuds/some_mighty_fine_print
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I look into my mirror...my looking glass. I see the world I have created for myself and the paths I’ve never taken. I see what I’ve done lying on the floor behind me, and the bloody writing on the wall. And then I see my doppelgänger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In My Looking Glass

In my looking glass I see so many things that make me ‘me’. I see the world I have created for myself and the paths I’ve never taken. I see what I’ve done lying on the floor behind me, and the bloody writing on the wall. And then I see my doppelgänger. He stares at me, angry and perplexed, and, finally, I hear him speak.

“You could’ve been different.” He stares at me blankly. “You could’ve had it all.”

“No.” I reply.

My doppelganger’s eyes grow cold. “Yes, you could. You could have had it all. But she changed you…she changed you so much that when you actually found someone to love you for you…you simply threw her away.”

My heart grows cold at the insight. “No…I didn’t…I didn’t…”

My doppelgänger smiles meanly. “Yes, you did.” His gaze turns questioning. “How could you have been so cruel to her?” he smiles again sadistically. “I thought you loved her.”

“I did!” I shout at my doppelganger staring back at me blankly through the looking glass. He continues to stare as my voice quietens. “I did…I…” I lean against the sink and close my eyes as I feel the tears finally come. “I do…”

“Do you?” I hear the cruelty in his voice and refuse to look at him. “Do you love her? Could you truly love her though your insanity?” he pauses for a beat as I breathe in sharply. “Or did her unblemished, innocence and her _true_ love make you insane?”

I snap, glaring daggers at my doppelganger as I scream. “I’m not insane!”

He smiles a little. “Are you not?” he winks at me, leaning in closer. “Are you not talking to your own reflection?” he gestures behind him, to her doppelganger that I only now see. “Do you see what you did? Your love did this to her…” he smirks wickedly at me as I grit my teeth. “Look closely though…is she still alive with you…or with _me_?”

My eyes travel to her reflection again and a single tear falls onto the sink in front of me. Her eyes are dim…and I would’ve thought her dead if she hadn’t blinked. I turn my back on the looking glass. I want to see reality…not its mirror image.

She looks up at me with sad, tired eyes…and yet…there is still love in them. I see her hand move limply towards me across the tiled floor and I kneel, crawling across the floor towards her. I lift her hand to my cheek and cry freely as my doppelganger taunts me, standing and watching from behind his glass wall.

“Dying in your arms…or death _together_ …which is the more romantic?” My doppelganger sneered through the looking glass as he dragged his nails down the glass, the shrieking sound it made painful to my ears.

“What have you done?!” I scream at my doppelganger and he stops, laughing maniacally.

“What have I done? No,” he jeers at me as I hold my love in my arms. “The question is…what have _you_ done to her?”

“No!” I shout. “You did this!” my voice softens as I feel her turn my face from the leering gaze of my doppelganger. “You…”

“Shh,” she coos softly as I cup her face in my hand and turns to press a kiss into my palm. “It’s alright…” she smiles a little. “Finish it, love… finish it…and we can be in the looking glass too…reunite the halves…”

I look at the blade in my hand. “Together as one…against all others…” I whisper as I press the cold metal to her throat.

“Break all of their wings and make sure it crashes…” she murmurs her last words as the metal bites into her soft, perfect flesh…silencing her in this life once and for all…

As the lights leave her eyes finally, I hear my doppelganger’s sniggering again. Hot, wet tears trickle down my cheeks as I turn to look at him…and behold a miracle. She’s there! The love of my life is there…with _him…_

“Join with me, and be with her.” My doppelganger smirks at me and, for the first time, I see myself in him.

I look at my love, believing my eyes are deceiving me. Behind me lies her corpse…but in my looking glass… she is _alive_. “Lie to me, cry to me…” she smiles sweetly at me. “Die for me…I would…”

I hear the shouts of police and others trying to kick down the apartment door and smile as I bring the blade up and drag it along my arm, slicing through flesh, capillaries, and tendons. My blood flows onto the floor and I stumble forward, my doppelganger’s image fading in the looking glass.

My bloodied hand presses against his gloved one through the glass as I hear the apartment door come off its hinges. “Finish it…” he and I say together as I lift the blade again and press the tip over where my heart steadily slows. I look up and change my previous words as I plunge the blade into my heart, eyes shut in acceptance. “Together as one…against all _odds_.”

My eyes open as the door to the bathroom is flung open and police officers flood the room. They are looking at two bloodied corpses, unaware that my love and I are watching them…laughing at them… from _behind the looking glass…_

***

_“You want to die with me? Okay, but I’m going to kill you first ‘coz I don’t trust you…”_

_~ Marilyn Manson_


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